I found this poem I wrote a long time ago so it's not a recent creation
but it was fun to read it again. I wrote it one time
when I was especially hoping to be able to be a mother someday.
It's still one of my greatest dreams even though I'm not married
yet. I've since learned that I can learn to be mothering if not a mother.
A great cavern in my heart brims with love and tenderness,
but there is missing the very core black in its emptyness,
white as a wall ready to be painted.
I cannot hope for that which I do not miss, and yet....
How sweet would be the colors, and what
patterns we could paint in layers thickly spread
with loving laughter as we coated ourselves in
a mural of memories and moments,
But not yet,
I only have these borrowed little smiles
not truly mine but enough to start painting.